A joke on the internet read “Arguing with a narcissist is like getting arrested. Everything that you say can and will be used against you”. Funny for everyone except those who have experienced living life around a person who is self centered to the point that they exhibit little to no care to the needs of those around them.
Perhaps, even more unfortunate are those who are in intimate relationships with people who display narcissistic behavior. Aside from lacking empathy towards their partners, narcissistic people may also exhibit an unfulfilling desire for constant admiration, manipulative and controlling behavior, unhealthy aggression, inability to take feedback, and many other such patterns and tendencies which ultimately lead to difficult lives for their partners.
The Oxford dictionary describes a narcissist as- “a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves”. One may of course come across people at some point in their lifetime who display narcissistic behavior regularly but a true narcissist is somebody who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD.
People who find themselves to be in an intimate relationship with someone who has NPD are constantly made to feel less than or even the cause of the problems in their partners lives. They may also suffer from regular emotional abuse, and in some cases, physical and sexual abuse as well. Thus, it is not uncommon for partners of people with NPD to experience feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
Unfortunately, people with NPD usually have little to no insight into their disorder. Their partners often find it challenging to intervene and open them up to the slightest idea of counseling and therapy as NPD sufferers are usually not open to feedback and may in fact demonstrate an aggressive intolerance towards any criticism, regardless of intent. This display of closed-mindedness on part of the NPD sufferer makes it difficult for them to seek therapy and betterment.
Though it would be unfair and downright wrong to say that people with NPD have no chance of recovery, it has been observed that even post voluntary admission on part of someone who is suffering from NPD the journey of reform is not an easy one. It is largely believed that daily mindfulness combined with talk therapy can yield substantially favorable results but though obvious and intuitive, it is worth mentioning that such results can never be achieved without willingness on part of the one suffering from the disorder.
Data suggest that majority cases of pathological narcissism seem to be uncovered in men, the underlying reason for which is not immediately clear but it is assumed to be rooted in genetic, environmental and cultural factors. This does not by any means rule out women and other genders from the pool, literally anybody could be suffering from NPD. Most experts agree that at the core of the personality disorder - sufferers usually seem to experience emptiness and insecurity - a facade ultimately.
Most official statistics about the incidence of NPD suggest the disorder to be a rarity but since it is so unlikely for people with NPD to seek help and therapy, it is safe to assume that the actual prevalence of the disorder might be much higher. The plight of those who share their lives with pathological narcissists cannot be undermined. Luckily for them, even though they may not always be able to directly help their partners into therapy, they are certainly free and encouraged to seek therapy for themselves. Most therapists and mental health practitioners are experienced in how to aid partners of people with NPD and possess the acumen to help them better their lives.
If you feel you or your partner are exhibiting narcissistic patterns and behavior- get in touch with a mental health expert today.